Brené Brown is an individual that "dares greatly" and urges others to take the steps necessary toward self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love before we engage others in our experience. She suggests that until we accept ourselves without passing judgement, that we cannot help others without passing judgement onto them.
This is an eye-opening concept, and one that I think challenges many to ask themselves this fundamental question- do we accept ourselves, without condition, on a daily basis? Or do we fill or heads with doubt and shame about our perceived inadequacies and shortcomings - especially when we compare ourselves to others? I found a blog post from Ted Talks that highlighted some great quotes from Brené's new book - something I will definitely be reading over winter break. Here is the link - TED Blog.
When she discusses her phrase, "daring greatly", I like how she uses the gladiator allegory. If we do not put forth our best effort, and fail at times, how will we know the exultation of glory or the critical self-reflection of loss? Brené says that unless we give ourselves the opportunity to try and subsequently fail, then we are not allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and we are not encouraging contact with others. We are avoiding shame - with vulnerability as it's mirror-image. Brené's research suggests a critical link between these two human emotions and that by denying one, we are strengthening the other, which may be a huge detriment to building relationships and enacting change.
Although her notion of being vulnerable may elicit uneasiness in some, I think it's an integral step toward self-acceptance which in turn, fosters acceptance of others. I am going to make it my personal journey to try and be more vulnerable and open with others in an effort to accept my experiences and outlook, so that I may honor others wholly in return.
Observation
In an effort to increase my vulnerability and confront my blocks to self-acceptance, I've started to practice eye-contact more with others. I've noticed that while it may be uncomfortable at first, it really has aided in building relationships with others and groups.
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I also enjoyed this talk as well. This talk made me realize that it is ok to fail at things. I will now look at my failures as little stepping stones to success and take every opportunity that is given to me and not doubt myself anymore. I will also take the time out not to pass judgment on myself and just love myself for who I am and try to open up and be more open with people because I know that I am a very reserved person.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of using more eye contact. Sometimes I find myself having a hard time doing this depending on the kind of day that I am having
ReplyDeleteI have always found it difficult to hold eye contact when talking to people. I have also recently tried this out, and while it is awkward for me at first, it makes for a better, more connected conversation.
ReplyDeleteComment #2 (Blog 7): I find it really interesting how Brene Brown's Ted talk affected every individual differently on a personal level, with the overall goal of reaching self-actualization. I have been noticing that you make more eye contact, especially in our class today when we were reading quotes. For that, I really admire your persistence! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteChanin, I like your stepping stone metaphor. Self-acceptance is a long process and we should celebrate every small success. Rachel, Kaleigh, and Christine - the eye contact things is difficult, but I do think it makes the interaction better and I will continue to improve my efforts at it. It really does make a difference and provide a stronger connection.
ReplyDeleteI love Brene Brown! I found her comment about judging others to be so resonant. I love your observation about eye contact. I struggle with eye contact when talking to other people, but sometimes I feel like I'm making others feel uncomfortable with how long I lock eyes ;)
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